Transactional anger

Thankfully, the death of a loved one throws us all into immediate shock. Once shock fades, anger makes its debut. You look around and realize you are left on this earth with a ton of people, but not the one you really want. My initial anger presented itself transactionally.

I found myself watching people's mouths move in conversation, getting angry, and thinking, "If I can’t have my loved one anymore, I’m sure as hell not going to put up with you!"

Or suffering through a business meeting listening to my manager world-splain, "Moving up in the world requires really understanding and handling life’s difficulties. One day you’ll understand." I fantasized about stuffing his tie in his mouth.

My emotions were so raw they could only function transactionally, with thought processes sputtering in segments. My ability to engage in broad, rational thinking faded into grief.

 The point? Anger is a natural part of the grieving process. There is a social norm in society that we’re supposed to hide negative emotions. The problem is not the emotion; it’s how you handle it.

Accept your anger; it’s healthy. Just don’t punch anyone.