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I spent most of my youth struggling. I lost my mother at a young age only to then choose a profession in the arts, the true tale of an uphill climb! Somewhere between circumstances and choices my everyday life was a balancing act.  I had to stay alert and malleable, because I did not have the luxury of safety. I looked at life through the lens of someone who could topple over at any moment. I thought “I just need to get one aspect of my life stable, then I can think more clearly.”

I finally landed in a job that paid enough to cover the bills. I could keep my roof, success! In the years to come life began to fall into place. I moved up in salary, found love, and started my own business. I can honestly say that I felt like I had finally arrived. It’s nice not to worry about finances, plan a future, and experience the calm that security provides.

Just as life started to even out, I had this nagging feeling of nostalgia, but for what? Then I started thinking about my first tiny, leaky apartment and what my life was like then. Wait, do I miss struggling?! Dare I say yes, part of me does. Is that crazy? Then I did some serious reflecting of what exactly this pining was all about. It certainly isn’t worrying about money all the time or feeling alone every day in the uphill climb of life. I realize it wasn’t the timeframe I missed, its who I was in that timeframe.

I was a warrior, sharp and ready for battle. I had to be on all the time. My mind was always plotting the next step. I decided to look at pictures of myself from that time. I remember feeling so vulnerable, but when I saw my younger self l looked stronger and nimbler than I gave myself credit for.

I am content now, but not in the fighting shape I once was. Don’t underestimate the power of struggle. Success shows you how far you’ve come but struggling shows you what you’re made of. For those of you reading this in the grips of struggle, know that you are a warrior in the making. Have a great week. Stay strong.

 

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